At the time I knew

What love felt like

Because I set the standard.

Low or not,

I felt something strong

Pull me closer toward

My distorted expectation

Of what love should be

Because I was not taught

Anything different

From early on.

Then I let go of

That standard

And real love crushed

Even exceeded any

Expectation I had

And I loved it.

I became addicted to it:


My soul is tied

To it.

My soul is tied

To his.

Stop & love

I lost years

Trying to live

In the tomorrow

And missing all

Of those

Fulfilling moments

And neglecting

The beautiful things

Happening around me

Yet I don’t regret

That rushing spirit

Because of the pain

Choking life itself

And now that

I’m in love with

The life I’m living

I feel an even greater

Pull to sit and savor

All that is for me


do you ever miss

the things you used to love

despite its crippling

nature and inconsistency

have you ever thought that

somehow, in this different stage of life

they’ll remind you of the good days,

the days where you had no worries

where you lived your best life

on the social media platform

where everyone saw you take that shot

laughing and dance in circles

video after video

and picture after picture.

or the bad days

the days that no one saw

no one could save you

from the life you built

until that one sip

until that one blow

until the fist to the eye

the car crash

the emergency room

the overdose

the pain

but somehow


we find our way back


each new year

we embark on a journey

to find ourselves

in the midst of all the mess

we’ve created and we

sink our heels into

this “newness” without

considering the trails

of tears and tired hearts,

destroyed and distorted

minds as a result of our

insolent words and

pessimistic spirits.


our first step is not

in our personal declaration

to change,

but repairing what we’ve



And in the midst of it all

Darkness keeps placing its

Ugly head into the open cracks

Of the minds that God took His

Time in healing

While life’s greatest adversary

May think he’s won again

Then I heard God remind me

In the deepest part of my soul

That victory belongs to me

And He’s the same God that’s

Delivered boats from crashing

Over the deep blue seas

And the same God that kept

Me when they broke into the

Home that I found solace in

The same God that kept him off

Of my back one last time

The same God that moved my hand

Off the brake that kept me from moving

The God that never fails

And is able to do exceeding abundantly

Will keep our minds at peace

Again if we believe


for the first time

the deep dark pit

that i’ve allowed to

swallow me up

began to crack and

your light found its way

into spaces that have never

experienced anything different.

i moved my hands towards

each opening in hopes that

i could keep digging

to let in more light

but my tired hands were

ready to give up and let go


you placed your hands

close to mine and started

digging with me

telling me i’m here

with your words and showing me

through your actions.

the pressure filled walls

let out its last and final sigh

and finally i saw that our

was never in vain.

now my pit is destroyed

with your wisdom filled words

and your dirt covered hands

showed me that

you were right there all along.

you’ve demolished my walls

you’ve heard my cries

and you’ve saved parts of me

i thought were six feet deep

and i’m ready to rebuild

alongside you.