Her life was full of pain

From a very young age.

She sends her apologies

Almost every day of her life

Unintentionally re-opening the

Door that holds her past

I pray for her sake that

One day she’ll know and understand

She could be the root to

Some of her evil.

I thought I was in too deep

So deep that every day felt

As if the current was pulling me

Closer to the mystery at the bottom

Of the ocean floor

Then a light from above

Moved gently through the waves

And something told me to follow

To be vulnerable

To trust

This small sign

Of eternal freedom.

The trumpet blew the final warning call

And the walls started to crumble

As the children marched their way around

And around until each pillar dropped

Making a sound indicating that the chaos

Would come to a close.

The dust settled and it seemed as if they

Claimed the victory over their battle

But their hearts weren’t ready

Pounding in the most abnormal way.

Then suddenly a great noise grew

From the concrete beneath

Sounding just like the first of the last

Accepting defeating knowing it was time

To try

Again.

i can’t decide if

i love myself enough

because i keep testing

the limits of my body

and putting her through

things that make no

absolute sense to the goals

i have for my life and the

plan that God crafted for me.

i preach to others about

what love feels like through

the eyes of someone else

but how serious have i been

in regard to myself?

it may not have been that bad

if the car didn’t stop

or if i was in the wrong place

at the wrong time

although i know that’s

not an accurate representation

of good health

but i’m going to try again

to remove this pain once and for all

because i need me

more than i need

anything else.

Down

There are some nights where I feel

A burning sensation in my soul

That tells me to help ignite

The flames surrounding me

But it only takes one night

To feel discouraged in this walk

To feel beat up

Torn down

To feel like giving up.

I’d like to believe I’m slowly moving

Into the purpose that is placed

By the name given to me

But I can’t save them all

I just can’t.