when you force perfection

into your beautiful brain

it will choose to choke and

wrap its evil head around

each blood vessel

while sending signals of

doubt and weakness

to every intricate part.

be careful when creating

your standards

because perfection

isnt unattainable and now

that you know

strive for goodness.

 

that was the end

time and time again

freedom was at the

end of my finger tips

and my tongue could

taste and see what would be

good for me

and the the night came

that i chose to

put myself first

and i chose to love

myself more than

i ever have

but in choosing to do so

fear ran through my veins

while i tried to calm my

shaky and sweaty hands

my mind almost convinced me

to go back to the place i was

and i’m so thankful

that my heart finally

told me

no.

opposite

my hands are shaking

cold to touch

thinking about the truth that

lies beneath the surface

of every cell of my body

and the reality of my ways.

since honesty matters more

than modesty

i must take into consideration

that i am not the one

you think you’ve been looking for

and although my heart beats fast

when your name appears

again and again

i am accepting that this

feeling will fade as soon as

you find her

and the possibility of a

sweet end could be on the horizon.

i’m uncertain of my assumption

and uneasy with each word that forms

but honesty matters more than

modesty and i love you enough

to see someone else

light up your life.

gone are the days where

i try to get anyone to understand

my heart’s capacity to love

and appreciate even those that

only give me an ounce of themselves

and gone are the days where

the mask seems to be permanently

cemented to the skin which holds

the most soft soul that i’ve known

and a heart that tries to

carry the burden of those around her.

here’s to the days of deep thought and wonder

the days where i place control back into

His hands because i know anything

He writes

will be

good.