It’s coming

With a heavy heart

Comes a soft mind

And the open

Opportunity to be

Vulnerable in ways

You never could

Have imagined

And in this very

Moment

My heart feels like

It’s sinking

And my thoughts

Are clouded with

Draining memories

But thank God

He is bigger than

Them all and I can

Carry on.

//soul-tied

Yes,

At the time I knew

What love felt like

Because I set the standard.

Low or not,

I felt something strong

Pull me closer toward

My distorted expectation

Of what love should be

Because I was not taught

Anything different

From early on.

Then I let go of

That standard

And real love crushed

Even exceeded any

Expectation I had

And I loved it.

I became addicted to it:

Now,

My soul is tied

To it.

My soul is tied

To his.

Stop & love

I lost years

Trying to live

In the tomorrow

And missing all

Of those

Fulfilling moments

And neglecting

The beautiful things

Happening around me

Yet I don’t regret

That rushing spirit

Because of the pain

Choking life itself

And now that

I’m in love with

The life I’m living

I feel an even greater

Pull to sit and savor

All that is for me

i’m jack

all i wanted

was to be

passionate about something

to sit down and create

stand up and speak

to listen and to learn

and make something my own

so i tried my hand

on things that i saw

others find life in

then quickly felt the

feeling of failure

and to this day

i’m still not sure

what could be mine

and what my heart

is drawing itself to.

habitual

do you ever miss

the things you used to love

despite its crippling

nature and inconsistency

have you ever thought that

somehow, in this different stage of life

they’ll remind you of the good days,

the days where you had no worries

where you lived your best life

on the social media platform

where everyone saw you take that shot

laughing and dance in circles

video after video

and picture after picture.

or the bad days

the days that no one saw

no one could save you

from the life you built

until that one sip

until that one blow

until the fist to the eye

the car crash

the emergency room

the overdose

the pain

but somehow

someway

we find our way back

 

each new year

we embark on a journey

to find ourselves

in the midst of all the mess

we’ve created and we

sink our heels into

this “newness” without

considering the trails

of tears and tired hearts,

destroyed and distorted

minds as a result of our

insolent words and

pessimistic spirits.

therefore,

our first step is not

in our personal declaration

to change,

but repairing what we’ve

broken.

 

And in the midst of it all

Darkness keeps placing its

Ugly head into the open cracks

Of the minds that God took His

Time in healing

While life’s greatest adversary

May think he’s won again

Then I heard God remind me

In the deepest part of my soul

That victory belongs to me

And He’s the same God that’s

Delivered boats from crashing

Over the deep blue seas

And the same God that kept

Me when they broke into the

Home that I found solace in

The same God that kept him off

Of my back one last time

The same God that moved my hand

Off the brake that kept me from moving

The God that never fails

And is able to do exceeding abundantly

Will keep our minds at peace

Again if we believe